


Human

by trubenblack



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Canonical Child Abuse, Fluff, Lots of mentions of scars tho, M/M, Past Abuse, Scar Care, but its Neil so its not all sunshine and daisies, description of scars, not really angst tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-29
Updated: 2018-10-29
Packaged: 2019-08-09 10:03:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16447745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trubenblack/pseuds/trubenblack
Summary: The evolution of Neil, his scars, and self care.





	Human

**Author's Note:**

  * For [paleromantic](https://archiveofourown.org/users/paleromantic/gifts).



Neil’s had his scars for as long as he could remember. They’ve just always been there, the iron scar on his shoulder for example, he barely remembered getting it, just that it hurt a lot, but he saw the scar from it every day so he knew it happened. His scars are a reminder of something permanent, that _he_ is permanent, even if the way he got them was not particularly enjoyable to say the least. However, even with their meaning to him, his scars had always been a cause of some sort of discomfort. A constant reminder every time he stretched too far to his left and the thick-chorded scar along his chest from his father’s cleaver in Seattle wouldn’t give enough for him to stretch fully.

 

The new ones were different. When he first got them they hurt every time he moved, his face would ache for hours after he smiled, for want of better words; it was a _fucking pain in his ass._ Andrew saw it sometimes and would pull his smile back down with his hand. But then if possible, it got worse, they were healing, and this made them so fucking itchy, it was the absolute worst and Neil had literally been tortured. He got so used to Andrew smacking his hands away from his arms and his face. Abby had to glove his hands at night to stop him scratching in his sleep.

 

It felt like a weakness, and he couldn’t cope with that. The foxes had all seen Neil at various points of weakness, but what they don’t understand is that he _hates it_ , he’s getting better with it as he gets older sure, but weakness for runaways like him, that meant death. If he was weak enough to allow himself to get sick, or to become attached to anyone or anything, he was dead. Even before he and his mother ran, weakness was not tolerated in the Wesninski household. For every tear shed Neil, at the age of three, would get a kick from Lola, for every time he cried out, he’d get a kick from Nathan. When Nathan got really sick of him, he’d get a kick from DiMaccio. None of them ever pulled their kicks, he learnt not to show weakness or make a sound very early in his life, or else DiMaccio will break a rib with his boot.

 

This was why now, he put up with the stiffness his scars gave him, he just kept moving and ignored it, but the days where he would wake up, and closing his hands was an actual task for him, his skin feeling stretched as far as it could go, or the days when making any facial expressions made him feel like he’d recently had botox and it was impossible, those days were the absolute worst. It was on one of these days that Allison caught him trying to stretch his fingers into a fist and growling as the skin over his scarred knuckles was stretched white and uncomfortable. He hadn’t noticed she was there, another thing he’d noticed since he allowed himself to become comfortable with the Foxes; he didn’t have his guard up around them.

 

A few days after she saw him struggling, Allison turned up to practice with some ‘ _moisturizer made especially for scar tissue’_ as she said. It smelled nice, like mint, she showed him how to massage it into his scars, and it did help she was right. Massaging his scars became a practice for him, when Andrew was in the shower he would pull the cream out of his bedside drawer and massage it in as best he could. If he was honest with himself, the reason he was hiding it from Andrew in the first place was because he was embarrassed about showing weakness, scared that Andrew would finally see him for the mess he was, and realize he wasn’t worth it anymore.

 

                                                                                                           ___________________

  

 

Andrew knew Neil’s scars bothered him, he watched him stretch his hands out constantly, often doing it when he wasn’t even paying attention, when he was paying attention he just got frustrated with his own body’s shortcomings, Andrew knew he was hurting from them. Andrew also knew Neil would shut down if he mentioned that he knew he was uncomfortable.

 

Andrew knew better than anyone what it was like to not want to show your weaknesses, even to those you trust. He wasn’t offended, and he _wasn’t_ worried, Andrew Minyard doesn’t feel worry. That being said, he did send Allison in to get Neil when he knew he was struggling with his hands, because if anyone knew how to barrel into his life and help him feel better without him shutting down, it was Allison Reynolds. Her friendship with Neil had been a surprise to all of them and although Andrew would never really get along with her, he could see she was good for Neil, and he respected her for that.

 

After Allison had done what she had needed to do, Neil had gotten less stiff and less uncomfortable. He still avoided mirrors; his hatred for his face had extended from seeing his fathers face to seeing his scars as something ugly, something they would work on eventually when he was ready. Andrew liked, no, he was honest with himself these days; he _loved_ Neil’s scars. The ones on his body allowing Andrew to center himself when things got too overwhelming. They made Neil who he was and that’s who Andrew loved, even if that feeling scared the ever-loving fuck out of him. Despite Andrew knowing all these things, Neil still avoided showing Andrew that he was stiff or that there had ever been a problem. He honestly didn’t think Andrew knew, which was a little offensive, but understandable. Andrew didn’t always show just how much he noticed about others, but with Neil, he noticed everything.

 

Which was why one day, when they woke up, both in the same bed staring at each other and Neil had started to smile before grimacing softly, at the pull of his scars, Andrew had rolled him over onto his back, and reached for the scar cream without thinking and straddled him. Neil had frozen staring at him with wide eyes, Andrew hadn’t allowed him to overthink, just asked him a bored _yes or no_ and then had proceeded to massage his face. Neil’s eyes had slowly fallen closed as Andrew moved onto his hands, his breathing evening out as he slowly melted into the pillow. Andrew took his time, massaging the joints where the scars met unmarred skin, making sure Neil could close his hands without it hurting. Once he finished that, he rucked Neil’s shirt up so that he could get to the other scars. Neil opened his eyes and made a confused noise at this.

 

“What are you doing?”

 

“I'm dealing with your scars idiot what do you think I'm doing?”

 

“No I know that Andrew I mean, my chest? I’ve never…” Neil’s face was a little uncomfortable and Andrew had the sudden realization that Neil had never even thought to make the scars on his torso more comfortable, because he had always lived with the pain and stiffness from them. He shifted slightly before making up his mind to push onward with Neil’s consent.

 

“Yes or no Neil?”

 

Neil took a couple of seconds before responding. When he replied in the positive Andrew proceeded to pull Neil’s shirt off completely before slowly rubbing some more cream into his hands. He started at Neil’s stomach, keeping his touches light to begin with, then kneading more and more into the skin there, the scars there were so thick they had turned hard and stiff, Andrew worked to massage some of the stiffness out of them, even if he wouldn’t get it all, he could still get something, and that’s what mattered. Neil made a soft contented noise as Andrew moved over his torso and started massaging deeper into the scar tissue on his chest. His eyes were closed now, and the sunlight made his hair look like a circle of fire on the soft, white pillowslip and sheets Andrew had bought specifically so they wouldn’t feel rough on his scars.

 

Andrew massaged Neil’s chest and arms for what felt like hours until his hands started to hurt and cramp. He got up slowly and pulled a slightly protesting and very relaxed Neil with him so they could get some coffee and breakfast into them. Neil practically moaned when he stretched as he stood, his skin wasn’t uncomfortably tight for the first time in, well in ever really. Andrew had to admit, it was one of the best noises he’d ever heard, and seeing Neil smiling, that was even better.

 

_And if it became something they did once a week or so, well that would be their own secret that nobody else had to know._

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed!!
> 
> as always leave comments and Kudos, i thrive off them
> 
> I recently made a tumblr so feel free to follow me and chuck me some messages, I'm nice i swear - trubenblack.tumblr.com


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